Are you having trouble getting along with new co-workers, old co-workers, old guard co-workers, or maybe colleagues, co-education inhabitants at your school? Or maybe just family members, neighbors, you name it, random people at the grocery store, and are wondering how the heck am I supposed to get along with people?
I don’t know them, we don’t have any basis for common communication. We don’t have any understanding of each other, what are we supposed to talk about? The weather? Sports? Maybe, maybe not. What does it matter?
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Depending on where you’re at, what you probably need to focus on most is stop thinking about it so much. You are a unique human being and have an infinite memory bank of awesome things to talk about. This exact same is true for the other person too.
If you’re looking for small talk tips, then I’ve got a book and a test that can help you figure out where you’re at, over at my website, RichardStep.com, just click on the book or products link up top.
The test is free, you can get that, that’s no problem. That’s on the tests link. That’s a good place to start if small talk skills or communication skills are what’s your hangup.
But if you’re just trying to get along with people then it could just be a matter of one simple tip that you need to keep on the forefront of your mind every time you enter a situation or you want to get to know someone or get along with someone better whether for a relationship or just in that instance.
And that is “How can I understand this situation and what we’re saying from the other person’s perspective?” Stop thinking about yourself and what you care about and just be extremely, wonderfully interested in the person you’re talking to. This is coming straight from the Dale Carnegie “How to Win Friends and Influence People” level of understanding and being an awesome person.
It works, it’s the only thing you need to focus on until you get much better and it becomes second nature. Stop thinking so much. Stop worrying. Stop putting all your energy into something that is just going to make the situation more awkward and less conducive to building a relationship and start focusing on what it feels like to walk in that other person’s shoes, what it feels like to see and hear what’s coming from the people around that person, namely you in this situation. It opens a whole new world of understanding and empathy and sympathy and interests and making this relationship between this other human being more important and worthwhile.
Think about the other people’s point of view and just be interested. It really is that simple. You just have to think about it and make a conscious effort from here on out. You can do it. Keep trying. It takes some practice. Good luck and peace out.