Awkward silences are in the opinion of the person. You are not sure if the other person finds it awkward. It really means that neither party had anything to say for a brief moment. I believe it is a lack of confidence in one’s self.
It’s important to beat awkward silences because they serve as an impediment to good communication. By not letting awkward silences to drag on, you show the other person that you respect them and want to listen to them. It also shows that you are interested in their thoughts and views, which will be appreciated and reciprocated, leading to better communication.
This is a topic that is near and dear to the hearts of my readers, researchers, and website visitors. So much so that one of them were kind enough to share their own personal opinions. I don’t claim to be the best interviewer in the world, but I do promise some good, raw, and honest answers from normal people like you and me. I do my best to NOT filter these answers, except for the bad words and hateful speech.
With that little blurb out of the way, let’s dive right into the juicy bits of (potentially) life-changing insights.
Current Topic: Beating Awkward Silences
‘R’ = Richard N. Stephenson (me!) ‘I’ = Interviewee (anonymous by request unless otherwise noted)
[This interview is inspired and fueled by research done for my book: Just Say Something! Use Small Talk To Succeed At Work, Empower Introverts, & Handle Annoying Coworkers.]
R: Why would anyone really want to pay attention to this subject?
I: The biggest benefit of getting past that “awkward silence” is that the feeling of nerves and tension go away. Breaking the ice makes everything more comfortable and it’s easier to engage in conversation afterwards. There are times when being silent is “okay” and sometimes when it’s so awkward. Once you get past the initial awkwardness, everything after that just seems to flow.
R: Sometimes, I think this kind of stuff could really help people in life – what do you think?
I: An example of beating awkward silences changing someone’s life is on a date. If the date, especially a first date, has a lot of awkward silences, it is less likely that there will be a second date. If a person can overcome awkward silences, the person is more likely to impress their date. If their date is impressed, they are more likely to go out again which can lead to a long relationship.
R: Please tell me about your own experience with this topic and how it helped someone be better.
I: People tend to be silent or shy in the face of someone who is more successful than they are. in such a situation you would be much better off speaking up and trying to break the ice. you may find that you have something in common, or you could become away of a opportunity that would make you more successful. even if you have no desire for such things you may find that you are more confident after beating an awkward silence.
R: If you had to pick the “World’s Best” for this topic, who would it be?
I: The person who is best at beating awkward silences is the person who doesn’t let those silences keep him or her from having a good time. An awkward silence is a natural and healthy faux pas that should happen in almost any good conversation of any good length, and getting the best of them requires no trick.
The person who quickly acknowledges them for what they are and then changes the subject is the person who beats them. My friend Whitney is great at this. She talks right through them, moving on to the next topic as if no silence ever happened. Before you know it, we have all forgotten it.
R: Describe who least exemplifies the core meaning of this topic to you.
I: I have a close group of friends that my partner and I usually hang out with and we have awkward moments every now and then. One of our friends thinks that awkward silences are irritating and weird. I honestly could not care less whether one pops up or not, but she can NOT stand them. So whenever we encounter an awkward pause, she decides to be “hilarious” and scream a random word.
It can be anything: “SNORKEL! IGLOO! TRAMPOLINE!” She thinks that it is funny, but honestly it just makes it more awkward because people around us stare and give us weird looks. It makes the situation go from regular awkward to extremely awkward.
R: Think of your daily routine – how does this topic fit into the overall scheme of things?
I: I do what I can to make myself comfortable in the situation. I do this by reading into the person or group that I’m talking with, and applying what I find to the conversation. If you do this you can easily avoid awkward silences.
R: When do you think new folks should get into this topic?
I: The most important time to beat awkward silence is during a professional job interview. There may be multiple times you need to deal with the silence and just let it be. If you are asked a question and need 10-15 seconds to form a response, you don’t have to fill it with mumbling.
Additionally, as you wrap up an answer and the interviewer is taking notes and has note finished writing their notes it is fine to beat the silence and let them finish. You don’t have to add to what was already a fine answer.
R: When is a time you feel this topic needs to be set aside or not even considered?
I: Funerals or high emotion scenarios. Nobody really knows what to say in those situations and it’s best to just say your sorries and move on. Making small talk can make people uncomfortable.
R: In a few short sentences, tell us where people could get some good use out of this topic.
I: Checking in on family members and friends. It improves my self and also lets my family and friends know they are cared about and loved. I’d either say hello and see how they’re doing via text message, Facebook, email, or give them a call. I normally do it over text message in case they are in the middle of something.
R: Where is this subject considered inappropriate for practice or use, in your opinion?
I: To beat awkward silences I suggest the typical maneuver of acknowledging them whenever they happen. As usual, it’s best to be transparent about things — the chances are that everyone else is thinking the same thing.
Fill the awkward silence with a comment on it or a quick question about what someone will do next weekend or even what you will do next weekend. Do not go into your day hoping to find awkward silences to ‘beat’ them, however, as you may unintentionally create them yourself.
R: What kind of person would benefit from looking into this subject further?
I: Local news anchors, and news programs in general could use serious help with beating awkward silences. Often times when reporting on either controversial or breaking news, they have long silences which feel very awkward when watching.
Even if they don’t have silences, they often repeat the same information over and over which feels like they are just filling the time since they have nothing valuable to contribute. If they cannot provide valuable content on a topic they are doing a disservice to viewers by wasting time staring at the camera or repeatedly covering the same information is a very short time-span.
R: Give me an example of something we can do to discover more about this subject.
I: The best thing to do to beat awkward silence is to realize that sometimes silence isn’t awkward. It’s okay to have a pause in the conversation to let someone consider what you’ve just said.
When the conversation is really heavy, someone might just need a moment to cry, and you shouldn’t try to fill the silence with cliches or trite sayings. In situations where it really is necessary to say something, focus the attention on the other person or people with a question or compliment.
R: How would you describe the most dangerous thing about this subject?
I: Even if a silence in conversation feels awkward, resist the urge to fill it right away. First off, the silence may be a natural part of the conversation, allowing everyone to take a moment to process what has been said. Second, jumping in to fill a silence at all costs often leads you to say the wrong thing, or something inappropriate that reveals a level of insecurity in you.
R: Give us an example of something we can do today to get more up to speed on this topic.
I: They could bring up something funny and make all the parties involved laugh, laughter easily defeats a hard situation. They could bring up something from the past that is appropriate that would unite the people in question. They could quickly leave the scene as to not cause the awkward silence to last any longer then necessary. If someone decides to leave the scene to avoid the awkward silence, a excuse can be used effectively such as having to take a business call or some other quick escape.
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Thank you for reading this personal journey into becoming a better person and having a better future ahead of you. I hope you enjoyed this interview conversation and found golden nuggets you can immediately apply to your daily life.
If you’re interested in discovering how to use small talk to succeed at work, transform your introversion into a useful skill, and handle those annoying coworkers, then check out Just Say Something!.
Please feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or personal life-changing wisdom below.