I think that small talk in this context is really just another way to get information. This type of expert can read a lot more into small talk than you or I do. In this situation, I don’t think any talk is really small talk.
Jay Leno is good at this because he can interview somebody off the street and get good results from them or he can just get a star and ask a simple question and get them started on a ten minute story right off the bat. But what about normal people like you and me?
This is a topic that is near and dear to the hearts of my readers, researchers, and website visitors. So much so that one of them were kind enough to share their own personal opinions. I don’t claim to be the best interviewer in the world, but I do promise some good, raw, and honest answers from normal people like you and me. I do my best to NOT filter these answers, except for the bad words and hateful speech.
With that little blurb out of the way, let’s dive right into the juicy bits of (potentially) life-changing insights.
Current Topic: Small Talk With Subject Matter Experts / Specialists
‘R’ = Richard N. Stephenson (me!)
‘I’ = Interviewee (anonymous by request unless otherwise noted)
R: To you, what are some of the biggest benefits usually associated with this topic?
I: Education. Typically, specialists are that way because they like what they do. That means that they like to talk about it, in which case you can learn more.
R: Assume the change from this subject is super-important, how could it help someone change their life?
I: It could open them up to a field or way of thinking that they had never heard of or considered before. I first became interested in archaeology by talking to an anthropologist at OSU. I had never even considered that an option for me.
R: Describe what’s so special about this topic in how it helps folks live life better.
I: Small talking with subject matter experts can make people become a better person in many ways. One of the main reasons is because you can learn their specific subject matter. That makes you more informed on the subject at hand.
R: If you had to pick the “World’s Best” for this topic, who would it be?
I: Someone who asks questions of genuine interest. A person that doesn’t pretend to know more than the expert, because they read a book about the topic once. And someone who listens carefully, and responds thoughtfully.
R: If you had to pick who’s the worst at this subject, who would it be?
I: An example of a person who is worst at small talk with subject-matter experts is the person who wants to do all the talking. If the person is not the expert, they should do most of the listening other than ask questions. If the person is not an expert, they might miss out on something they could learn or something interesting if they talk too much.
R: Can you tell us what it’s like to have this subject in your life?
I: I like to ask “compare and contrast” questions with people who are in allied fields to my area of practice, which is tax law. I don’t ask them tax technical questions, but I ask questions about their attitudes, daily life, tips, etc. For example, at a recent cocktail party I met a federal judge. I did not ask him about his judicial views, but about his attitude toward the IRS, how juries in his district viewed the government in general and the IRS specifically, and the like. He seemed very pleased to be able to “talk shop” with someone who was drawing out his experiences, which I sensed he hadn’t had happen very often.
R: When is a pretty good time to start paying more attention to this topic?
I: When you are looking for expert advice. When you are trying to figure out a problem and can’t seem to find it on your own. When you feel that their specialized training could help answer a question.
R: Tell me about an inapparopriate time to bring up this topic or use it in life?
I: It would be inappropriate to do so at a party, where there is a somewhat captive audience of lay people. You should also not bring this up when discussing it with a superior who has a different opinion so that they do not think you are a quarrelsome know-it-all. One should always keep in mind that there is an appropriate audience for everything, and not everyone is as enthusiastic about information obtained through small talk.
R: Can you tell me where folks out there should plan to bring this idea into their lives?
I: The question of where to make small talk with subject matter experts/specialists depends on what the subject matter is. But by all means, if there is a hands-on component to the expert’s wisdom, try to chat them up near what they’re an expert in. That way, you’ll be able to just look around and find plenty of questions to ask and if you’re lucky, you’ll even get a demonstration! If the subject matter of the expert’s expertise isn’t so “hands-on” or “demonstrable,” then just about any place will do, but find a place where you can both hear well, and be relaxed without too much distraction.
R: Where is a really bad place to start working on this topic?
I: The worst place would be during work hours. Mostly because it would interfere with being productive at work as well as causing confusion. I know especially with the type of work i do where I’m constantly running around and focusing on multiple tasks at once, this would just make my job that much more difficult.
R: Who’s someone that could gain quite a bit from looking further into this topic?
I: The first organization that came to mind is the United States Government. In an organization such as this, people tend to take everything at face value. Small talk is no longer just passing conversation but something to be dug into to find a profitable situation.
R: Give me an example of something we can do to discover more about this subject.
I: One advice I would give someone is start with something you know a lot about and something you know they are not familiar with that subject. This will give you more time to talk. If they know a lot about the subject, step away for a second by going to the bathroom. When you return, start talking about a new subject.
R: How would you describe the most dangerous thing about this subject?
I: Small talk can be difficult with a specialist because they think they know everything. The conversation would be one-sided. They would just want to keep talking so they can prove you wrong on everything.
R: How would you describe a practical step we could take today to get more done on this topic?
I: They can research various topics. This research can give them ideas of what to say during small talk. The conversations then would go better with the small talk.
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Thank you for reading this personal journey into becoming a better person and having a better future ahead of you. I hope you enjoyed this interview conversation and found golden nuggets you can immediately apply to your daily life.
If you’re interested in discovering how to use small talk to succeed at work, transform your introversion into a useful skill, and handle those annoying coworkers, then check out Just Say Something!.
Please feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or personal life-changing wisdom below.