The gist of small talk means saying hello and then listening. They will talk for as long as you let them. It means having to think of an excuse to leave the conversation.
Talk about insignificant things with this talker because it wouldn’t matter if they repeat it. If you small talk it they might realize that they talk too much. They might realize that the more they talk the more you know about them and the less they know about you. You know where their head is.
This is a topic that is near and dear to the hearts of my readers, researchers, and website visitors. So much so that one of them were kind enough to share their own personal opinions. I don’t claim to be the best interviewer in the world, but I do promise some good, raw, and honest answers from normal people like you and me. I do my best to NOT filter these answers, except for the bad words and hateful speech.
With that little blurb out of the way, let’s dive right into the juicy bits of (potentially) life-changing insights.
Current Topic: Small Talk With People Who Talk Too Much
‘R’ = Richard N. Stephenson (me!)
‘I’ = Interviewee (anonymous by request unless otherwise noted)
R: Explain why this topic is important to people like you and me.
I: A benefit could be that you would appear social too. These people would think you are interested in them. You wont seem like a social outfit.
R: How do you think this could change someone’s life?
I: Talking “too much” is a matter of opinion, I personally enjoy people who talk a lot because I’m not an outspoken person, so it would be easier to express myself and engage in conversation. You never actually know what someone has to say so I do believe it can change someone’s life. A big part of life now is networking, you never know who you may come across or who knows who and a simple conversation can change everything.
R: Please tell me about your own experience with this topic and how it helped someone be better.
I: By limiting your interaction with them, they may stop talking so much.
R: In general, what type or person (or someone specifically!) typifies this subject to you?
I: Someone who is an avid listener. If the listener listens and the talker talks, then everyone is comfortable and there are no awkward silences. If they were both talkers then they would drown each other out.
R: Who’s the flat-out worst at this subject?
I: Someone who goes into excessively personal detail during small talk. For example someone who talks about an embarrassing medical condition or spousal problems. Or when someone talks about themselves repetitively. That gets quite annoying.
R: Can you tell us what it’s like to have this subject in your life?
I: I would make sure to tailor the topic to something I’m really interested in. For example I love talking about sports, so even if the other person does talk to much I wouldn’t mind it if they were talking about baseball or football. As long as you’re interested in the conversation, an over-talker isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes they’re even appreciated.
R: Pick a time, pick any time… when should folks out there bring this idea into their lives?
I: When you have plenty of time to listen to them. Do it when there are other people present, so you don’t have to be the only one around them. Lunch time is a good time to do that.
R: Seems like there are good times and bad times to bring this one up. When’s a really BAD time, do you think?
I: An inappropriate time would be during class or a sermon. If the speaker is present and actively speaking, one word to a talkative person who talks too much would lead to the talkative person starting a conversation. This conversation would be rude and inappropriate since someone else is talking.
R: Where’s the best place someone can bring this topic into their life?
I: In any situation where in behooves you to be the one listening and not the one talking. You may be able to find an advantageous piece of information in what they’re saying. This could be used in politics for example.
R: Where is a really bad place to start working on this topic?
I: People who wish to make small talk while I am at the gym are annoying to me. I tend to wear my headphones while working out to try and avoid these distracting conversations. Working out isn’t that enjoyable so it’s best to just go in and get it over with rather than trying to socialize and converse while there.
R: In your opinion, who out there could use a little more help with this subject?
I: The group of immigrants cause they need some moral supportThe group of LGBT because they should be supportedThe group of laborers or working class because they need to uphold their duty
R: Describe at least one thing you would recommend to someone looking into this topic more.
I: I value your opinion. However, I feel that you underestimate yourself. You can be very impactful with fewer words.
R: What is the absolutely most dangeours and bad thing someone should stay away from related to this topic?
I: Bringing up another topic while talking with them. It opens up a whole other thing for them to talk about which you don’t want. Instead answer questions with yes or no and don’t go into detail with your answers.
R: How would you describe a practical step we could take today to get more done on this topic?
I: Comment on their social media that way you can interact without being stuck in the crossfires. Say they put a new picture on Instagram, make a comment and that way next time you see if you have a talking point. By bringing social media into the picture you can converse without having to actually be there!
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Thank you for reading this personal journey into becoming a better person and having a better future ahead of you. I hope you enjoyed this interview conversation and found golden nuggets you can immediately apply to your daily life.
If you’re interested in discovering how to use small talk to succeed at work, transform your introversion into a useful skill, and handle those annoying coworkers, then check out Just Say Something!.
Please feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or personal life-changing wisdom below.