I think certain types of small talk calls for you to sit and listen while the “know-it-all” person tells you everything they are an expert about. If you bring up sports as a small talk conversation, the know-it-all may proceed to explain why they know who will win the big game that night, and why their opinion is right. Sometimes, if you aren’t looking to get into an argument, it is best to let the know-it-all person have their say and just agree with them. After all, you were just trying to make small talk!
If someone thinks they know everything I feel it is better to just be polite and nod in agreement. Even if you think they are wrong or don’t have all the correct information, its better to in general just let them think you are interested in what they know rather than insult someone for being too talkative. There actually could be some validity to what the “know it all” thinks they know, so don’t discount it all too soon.
This is a topic that is near and dear to the hearts of my readers, researchers, and website visitors. So much so that one of them were kind enough to share their own personal opinions. I don’t claim to be the best interviewer in the world, but I do promise some good, raw, and honest answers from normal people like you and me. I do my best to NOT filter these answers, except for the bad words and hateful speech.
With that little blurb out of the way, let’s dive right into the juicy bits of (potentially) life-changing insights.
Current Topic: Small Talk With Know-It-All
‘R’ = Richard N. Stephenson (me!)
‘I’ = Interviewee (anonymous by request unless otherwise noted)
R: What are some of the biggest reasons you would ever look into this subject?
I: Engaging in small talk with know-it-alls generally benefit you because the know-it-all’s have the answer to everything. Having the ability to have a person be able to answer all of your questions is nice, and being able to converse with them about certain topics allows you the freedom of asking anything you want.
R: How’s this subject relevant to making or changing the lives of those around us?
I: You will learn new information that you may have overlooked or didn’t think of. Also, if your viewpoints are different you can have a healthy debate with them. Also, if you want to engage in conversation, making small talk usually leads to full on conversation.
R: How do you think this could be used for personal development or just being a better person overall?
I: When talking with someone who feels they know it all about a topic, listen to them and ask leading questions. While listening notice how talk with there hands, how their voice changes and how the given topic is something passionate it to them. Determine if what they are saying is because they feel they know it all about the topic or know not much about the topic but know it all about life. You can also focus on where they are lacking and think to yourself what kind of a life must they have to need to know it all about this topic so badly that it makes them feel better. You are probably making their day by just listening and are one of the few people they will encounter through out the way who is willing to, listen.
R: Describe the perfect person to be the poster-child for this topic.
I: My co-worker is a know-it-all. The person who sits next to him is great at small-talking with him, probably because of practice. Whenever the know-it-all tries to show off, his desk partner simply stops responding to the conversation or regresses to a series of grunts and agreeable nods. On the few days when he wants to really respond, he steers the conversation towards a topic he knows that he has more knowledge of than the know-it-all. Small talk with know-it-alls is all about keeping it to small talk and nothing more.
R: Break it down for me real quick – who just plain sucks at this topic?
I: Someone who is easily agitated or defensive would have a very difficult time having a relaxed conversation with a know it all. This is because they would be on the defensive and assume the other person is always talking down to them. If they are insecure in the first place, talking to someone who appears more confident or intelligent could possibly bring about bad communication.
R: Please, share with us what would make this topic more prevailent in your life?
I: Know-it-alls have needs. They need to share their knowledge with others in order to feel important. You can help them fill this need, and it can help you as well if you need advice in certain aspects of your life. You can ask their advice; if you don’t like the advice, you don’t have to take the advice. Don’t make the assumption that know-it-alls are trying to be arrogant; their motivation might be just to help you and to be able to share their knowledge. When you meet someone, try to talk to them regardless of their race/color/gender.
R: Is there a specific time when this topic is best worked, used, or made apparent?
I: The most appropriate time to make small talk with know-it-all’s a part of your life is when you’re in a big group of people. Usually they will embarrass themselves and everyone gets a good laugh. Also sometimes you just can’t avoid it.
R: Give me an example of a bad time to dive deeper into this subject, please.
I: One example would be when you are going through marriage problems. When you’re having personal issues like this, it is best to not talk about it with people who think they “know it all”. They will probably end up telling you what to do, even though they really don’t have a clue what is really going on. The best thing to do is to not get into long conversations with they people during tough, personal times.
R: Describe where you think most people could get better use out of this topic.
I: The best place to make small talk with a know-it-all part of your life is where you have something to distract yourself with. For example, if the person is in your office, you can pretend to keep working on your computer, and read an article to distract you. Or if you have a pen & paper, you can doodle. Also a good place is on the phone, because the person can’t see you, so you can be doing something else while you are on the phone.
R: Give an example of where folks should not be working on this subject.
I: I remember a party that took place at the time of a well-publicized trial. One guest who was a lawyer introduced himself, “My name is John Doe and I’m one of the bad guys.” Immediately, he broke the ice with self-deprecating humor and was peppered with friendly questions that kept him going a long time. So, a simple, pre-planned personal introduction can help jumpstart a conversation. Here are two more pieces of advice to remember: Bad small talkers also tend to get stuck at setting talk. Or they spend too much time focused on their favorite topic, whether it’s baseball statistics or Star Wars. They think they are being social because they are talking.
R: Who do you think could use some help with this subject?
I: Know-it-all’s, I believe for the most part, are disruptive in the work place. Other employees find them annoying. Nobody wants to hear that someone else has done everything you did, done it better, and did it for a longer period of time. I believe it is the responsibility of supervisors or management to provide some sort of guidance to the “know-it-all’s” so they don’t come off as so irritating.
R: Describe at least one thing you would recommend to someone looking into this topic more.
I: Making small talk with know-it-alls can be a trying and difficult experience. The best advice depends on how much you need this person in your life. If they are an important person, it is best to nod and let them talk but avoid responding in ways that encourage long-winded answers. If you don’t need to talk to them, just politely end the conversation and avoid them.
R: What is the absolutely most dangeours and bad thing someone should stay away from related to this topic?
I: The number one thing to avoid when making small talk with know-it-all’s is talking about politics. Even an innocent quip about a political current event can turn into a long debate when making small talk with know-it-all’s. Know-it-all’s tend to be very opinionated, and have a hard time discussing politics without long diatribes.
R: This topic is broad and the readers will need some focus. Can you help guide them along with an example of what to do next?
I: Stay up to date on current topics and when you see a know it all bring up a topic you are comfortable with. Keep the conversation on that topic and don’t let it veer unless it’s to another topic you are knowledgeable in. When they seem to know more, tell them sources where they are wrong in a civil way.
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Thank you for reading this personal journey into becoming a better person and having a better future ahead of you. I hope you enjoyed this interview conversation and found golden nuggets you can immediately apply to your daily life.
If you’re interested in discovering how to use small talk to succeed at work, transform your introversion into a useful skill, and handle those annoying coworkers, then check out Just Say Something!.
Please feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or personal life-changing wisdom below.