An overview of what small talk means is brief encounters at the water cooler, in line for coffee, or passing in the hall. Nothing too in-depth, because they are too busy micromanaging everyone and that requires a lot of time and effort. So small talk would be shallow and vague, no subjects that would take a lot of time or effort on their part.
Micromanagers can be very frustrating, especially to individuals who are competent and creative. I think that the most important thing to do is to subtly find ways to tell the micromanager about positive achievements that occurred without his or her supervision. It is important to convey that others have good problem solving skills, can take the initiative, and show discipline when completing tasks.
This is a topic that is near and dear to the hearts of my readers, researchers, and website visitors. So much so that one of them were kind enough to share their own personal opinions. I don’t claim to be the best interviewer in the world, but I do promise some good, raw, and honest answers from normal people like you and me. I do my best to NOT filter these answers, except for the bad words and hateful speech.
With that little blurb out of the way, let’s dive right into the juicy bits of (potentially) life-changing insights.
Current Topic: Small Talk With Micromanagers
‘R’ = Richard N. Stephenson (me!)
‘I’ = Interviewee (anonymous by request unless otherwise noted)
R: Why would anyone really want to pay attention to this subject?
I: The biggest benefit of small talk with micromanagers is that you get lots of advice. You also get to hear a lot of options from the person, because they will really think through the situation. Making small talk with micromanagers, you will also get to hear a lot of whatever is going on in their life, and will get to hear about lots of new things.
R: This is very interesting stuff here and I think it could help people. What do you feel is the most life-altering thing about the topic?
I: Sometimes managers feel that they are not doing their job correctly unless they constantly assess the progress of their employees and try to tell them exactly how to do the simplest tasks. Many of these micromanagers may be insecure about their own role within the organization and feel the need to perform their dominance with underlings in front of their superiors. Making small talk to micromanagers plays to their desire to be liked, to be able to relate to their colleagues. Everyone wants to be liked and build trust. Gaining the trust of micromanagers at work can change your career possibilities by changing the way that these managers think about you. By small talking with them you remind them that you are a person first and an employee second. You also lay the groundwork for them to see you as an equal.
R: Please tell me about your own experience with this topic and how it helped someone be better.
I: Micromanagers appear to be controlling and overbearing but they can actually be very helpful. To a careless person who doesn’t plan much, having someone tell them when and how to do things is exactly what they need. Some people don’t work well unless they are guided and have some direction from somebody so I think that is how small talk with micromanagers could help better somebody.
R: Who do you think is best when it comes to this topic?
I: A person who is genuinely interested in others will be best at “small talk.” If you are faking interest or engaging in conversation only to forward your own agenda, most people will know that. If you are working with a micromanager, then it is even more important that person feel that all your attention and focus is on them and the issue being discussed.
R: Do you know anyone who could use a little more help on this?
I: If the manager is attempting to make small talk to become more personal he or she needs to act genuine and sincere . The manager should act focused on the conversation and pretend to care . I have seen many people care less about the subject at hand and it has become obvious that the person is just trying to motivate me . If we are discussing a topic that the manager knows nothing about they should say so and ask follow up questions to have me explain it more.Many times you see a manager use small talk as a motivational tactic. Just make sure that the person expresses interest.
R: Think of your daily routine – how does this topic fit into the overall scheme of things?
I: I would say this was integral at my last place of employment, in computer/retail sales. We had a byzantine hierarchy of management, and I had many people I had to keep happy at many different levels, that also had the potential to profit from my actions. While I might not have talked to these people much outside the work environment, while on the job, making small talking allowed us to better understand each other, and to get a better grasp of each others overall expectations.
R: When is a pretty good time to start paying more attention to this topic?
I: The most appropriate time to make small talk with micromanagers part of your life is when you are looking for advice. A micromanager is likely to take charge. A micromanager will give you advice, usually whether you want advice or not. So the best time to make small talk with a micromanager is when you are looking for advice from the person.
R: Can you think of a time when it’s probably a bad idea to look into this subject more?
I: An inappropriate time to bring small talk with micromanagers into your life is when you are trying to be productive at work. For example, if you work with someone who likes to talk, allowing that person to talk with you while you are trying to work can be highly distracting. When you are trying to do your best work, it helps to have a quiet space free from distractions. A micromanager would distract you and give you unsolicited advice about your work.
R: Where can regular people like you and me plan to bring this into our daily routine?
I: When micromanagers are impersonal or cold, it might help to engage in small talk about a topic that interests them. People usually respond to talking about innocuous subjects. An elevator, for example or in a break room at work to avoid any awkwardness.
R: Give an example of where folks should not be working on this subject.
I: In a job that requires a lot of attention. If you are focused on talking with your micromanager then there is more room for making mistakes. If your manager is right there to see you mess up because you’re trying to talk to them it’s not going to be good news.
R: What kind of person would benefit from looking into this subject further?
I: Food service jobs where there is a lot of prep involved. It’s a menial task that does not really require a lot of attention. Those times are good to make small talk because you can’t screw up the task at hand.
R: Describe at least one thing you would recommend to someone looking into this topic more.
I: Making small talk with micro managers is very similar to anyone else. Asking about someone’s family is always a good place to start. Other good questions are where are you from, where do you live, what are your hobbies. This can also lead to building trust, so they may be less likely to try to micromanage you. Other small talk topics could be the weather, current events and news topics, and recent movies or television shows.
R: What is the absolutely most dangeours and bad thing someone should stay away from related to this topic?
I: When engaging in small talk with micromanagers, one should always be careful that resentment doesn’t come through. Nobody likes a micromanager and it’s necessary to put that frustration aside when having a casual conversation. Keep in mind that often a micromanager can’t help him/herself and try to enjoy the better qualities of this person.
R: How would you describe a practical step we could take today to get more done on this topic?
I: Making small talk with micromanager starts with the simplest behavioral modifications, expressing sincerity whenever you ask your manager how they are and they tell you, making sure to ask polite questions as if you’re interested but never getting too personal unless they invite you too. Always mirror their level of personal interaction, while deferring to them slightly. If they ever complain to you about something that happens at work, you need to take their side and be an understanding ear to their frustration. Where work is concerned it is important to always admitting fault for the smallest mistakes and praise them for their insights about tasks. Make sure to check in with them and ask questions that make them feel like a mentor to you, even if you know the answers.
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Thank you for reading this personal journey into becoming a better person and having a better future ahead of you. I hope you enjoyed this interview conversation and found golden nuggets you can immediately apply to your daily life.
If you’re interested in discovering how to use small talk to succeed at work, transform your introversion into a useful skill, and handle those annoying coworkers, then check out Just Say Something!.
Please feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or personal life-changing wisdom below.