Trying to form an acquaintance with someone who talks about other people’s private lives. Speaking formally with family members that are notorious for talking about other family members’ problems. Informally talking with a stranger about banal topics.
Small talking with gossipers may make you see that this is not what you want to become–a gossiper.On the other hand, you may learn some truths out of the conversation.I would not want to have this gossiper as a friend.
This is a topic that is near and dear to the hearts of my readers, researchers, and website visitors. So much so that one of them were kind enough to share their own personal opinions. I don’t claim to be the best interviewer in the world, but I do promise some good, raw, and honest answers from normal people like you and me. I do my best to NOT filter these answers, except for the bad words and hateful speech.
With that little blurb out of the way, let’s dive right into the juicy bits of (potentially) life-changing insights.
Current Topic: Small Talk With Gossipers
‘R’ = Richard N. Stephenson (me!)
‘I’ = Interviewee (anonymous by request unless otherwise noted)
R: What’s so special about this topic anyway?
I: You would most likely enjoy the conversation you are having with that gossiper. You would be able to learn and gain a lot of information about others or what is talking place in your environment. That gossiper would most likely make you laugh and hold good conversation.
R: How’s this subject relevant to making or changing the lives of those around us?
I: Small talk with gossipers could change someone’s life if they use it to gossip about you. These people could add more drama in your life. You should trust the people you are talking to.
R: Share some of your inner feelings on just how useful this topic is for making people want to be better.
I: When confronted with gossip, a person can either take the information and spread it to others, or take a moment to consider the facts. Then realize that our decisions are based off of information that may not be available to those who see only the results of our choices, not what led up to the decision itself. Stepping up, and breaking the gossip judgment chain, can be as simple as opening your mind to the possibility that you are not the moral police. You do not set a standard, and if circumstances were reversed, how would you feel, if your choices were being scrutinized.
R: Describe the perfect person that is a shining example of this topic, in your opinion.
I: This was not the hit I accepted, but I’ll give it a shot. I think a person who asks questions would be best at small talk with a gossiper. You could just ask a few questions and let them talk. For example, an introvert who doesn’t really like to talk about themselves that much but loves to listen and appear friendly could just ask questions and sit back and listen to all the juicy gossip without feeling the need to interrupt with their own information.
R: In a few sentences, describe who’s just plain no good when it comes to this topic.
I: A backstabber because they will blame all gossiping on you.Another gossiper because you cannot trust them. They only repeat what you said.A person who is not a gossiper because they have nothing to contribute to the conversation.
R: Describe the “perfect day” as far as making this subject a part of your life.
I: I would avoid excessively personal or embarrassing details about my life. I would also not talk about anyone else so that they don’t go about repeating it. I would also keep away from any topics that might later incriminate me.
R: Can you let us know when you think a good time to pay attention to this subject is?
I: The most appropriate time is when you don’t care what other people are doing. That way the gossip won’t affect you in a negative way. Just worry about yourself.
R: When is a time you feel this topic needs to be set aside or not even considered?
I: The only answer to that is when your having a tough time with certain situations. Once you bring in a gossipy person in that situation. They will be watching and listening to every detail far better than a news reporter. Then they will disappear like a puff of smoke and start sounding off like the evening news.
R: If you can to name a place where this topic works really well, where would that be?
I: When you are out to lunch with close friends and family. At a cocktail party when there are no coworkers around. In a private discussion in your home.
R: Where is this subject considered inappropriate for practice or use, in your opinion?
I: The worst place to make small talk with gossipers is by far a busy lunch-hall frequented by many mutual friends. Too many things can get overheard and once overheard you yourself can get sucked into drama you want no part of. If you’re going to gossip you want to do it in a private place where you can’t be overheard or somewhere where the people don’t know you or the people you’re gossiping about.
R: Who do you think could use some help with this subject?
I: Any group of coworkers can use more help with small talk with gossipers. Gossiping is often the way adults bully in the workplace. Coworkers could use more help with learning how to encourage others in the workplace. This would improve the quality of work, productivity, and job satisfaction.
R: Got any advice for us on this topic? The readers are hungry!
I: First, you must be a good listener and display positive body language. You must understand that not everything they say you will agree with or even think is true, but you must hold your tongue or approach it sensitively. By following this advice, the other person will be comfortable engaging in small talk with you without feeling apprehensive
R: What is the absolutely most dangeours and bad thing someone should stay away from related to this topic?
I: Avoid telling them your personal business. Avoid talking negatively about someone else. Do not become best friends with them. Do not trust them. If they bring a bone they will carry a bone.
R: How would you describe a practical step we could take today to get more done on this topic?
I: If someone wants to have gossip in their lives in a big way they can use any form of social media. Twitter, Facebook and other social media sites are full of people who gossip. Reading the posts will tell you things about celebrities and others.
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Thank you for reading this personal journey into becoming a better person and having a better future ahead of you. I hope you enjoyed this interview conversation and found golden nuggets you can immediately apply to your daily life.
If you’re interested in discovering how to use small talk to succeed at work, transform your introversion into a useful skill, and handle those annoying coworkers, then check out Just Say Something!.
Please feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or personal life-changing wisdom below.