Small talk means discovering unknown information that you may find to be useful financially, discovering the person you are small talking to is related or know someone whom you are acquainted, and discovering a stranger is of importance and you or a family member may benefit from their friendship.
I believe that it changes people’s perception of you when you can participate in daily discussions. In my opinion, it is very important to not be seen as an introvert in today’s society if you want to get anywhere meaningful. People like to be able to keep a discussion going. It reduces awkward moments and improves relationships.
This is a topic that is near and dear to the hearts of my readers, researchers, and website visitors. So much so that one of them were kind enough to share their own personal opinions. I don’t claim to be the best interviewer in the world, but I do promise some good, raw, and honest answers from normal people like you and me. I do my best to NOT filter these answers, except for the bad words and hateful speech.
With that little blurb out of the way, let’s dive right into the juicy bits of (potentially) life-changing insights.
Current Topic: Useful Small Talk
‘R’ = Richard N. Stephenson (me!)
‘I’ = Interviewee (anonymous by request unless otherwise noted)
R: What do you think is the most important thing about this topic?
I: You might be able to gain information about certain subjects that you would have not previously known. It can help to pass the time if conversation becomes stale. It can become a good opportunity to become closer with someone.
R: Sometimes, I think this kind of stuff could really help people in life – what do you think?
I: If discussing a topic of interest with and influential person, one may find themselves at the receiving end of a job offer or some other lucrative opportunity. An example would be a waiter serving a group of executives at a restaurant. The waiter happens to fall into conversation about a certain topic with one of the executives, the executive likes what he hears, and he offers the waiter a much higher paying job.
R: How do you think this could be used for personal development or just being a better person overall?
I: Gives an opportunity to give an impression to many different people in hopes of finding a compatible conversationalist. Opens up many social doors through gossip that might otherwise not have occurred without the small talk. Become more compatible with people that might not be immediately attractive.
R: Is there anyone you can think of that seems to be a great role-model as far as this topic is concerned.
I: A cashier at a store. The cashier probably uses the same small talk to each customer all day long. They can also be good with suggestive selling.
R: Think back to your past friends, coworkers, and family – is there anyone who could use help with this subject?
I: I worked for a partner who was terrible at small talk. He would open a meeting with small talk, but it defeated his effectiveness with respect to the objective of the meeting. He would not listen to answer to questions, and he was bad at asking follow up questions that deepened his knowledge of the people with whom we were meeting. His questions were very close-ended that lent themselves to yes/no answers, and he became impatient if people’s answers were too long for his taste. He would cut people off and answer his own questions. Finally, he would use in-artful transitions that in effect said, “Enough small talk; let’s transition to the agenda of the meeting.” Instead of effectively using small talk to bond with people and learn more about him, his failed attempts at small talk alienated people who viewed him as cold and uncaring.
R: Give us an example of what you do to make this topic a part of your daily duties.
I: I love small talk! I think it’s important to talk to everyone and socialize. Just one conversation with a stranger could lead to them changing your life or you changing their life. They could have a bad day where they would need something. Just offering a helpful hand could give them guidance.
R: When do you think new folks should get into this topic?
I: Any time I’m in a new situation with people I don’t know very well, useful small talk is appropriate. If I am meeting new co workers, for example, I don’t want to go on about my personal life or what I’m stressing about. However, I don’t want to be rude and I want to seem friendly, so making small talk about sports, weather, and things like that are an easy way to make conversation without offending.
R: Describe a time when it is inappropriate to bring up this subject.
I: In a scenario in which it is inappropriate to discuss certain things, or to talk at all. While in a school or library for instance. It is frowned upon to have conversations in these establishments.
R: Is there at least one place you can think of that people should consider bringing this into their daily lives?
I: The best day to make useful small talk for me personally is at work. Small talk definitely makes the day go by quicker and is also effective when trying to get things accomplished. I enjoy small talk while working as long as it remains *small* talk and doesn’t become a distraction.
R: What place is this subject just totall inappropriate for?
I: The worst place I can think of is on the bus on the way to work. This would simply be because this is the time that I use for myself and I generally spend it reading and it is the only time that I really get to read. Although it would be difficult to ignore someone if they started talking to me, I would much prefer to read.
R: Think for a second about who needs to learn more about this subject. Now, describe them to us, please.
I: A group of people that needs more help with small talk are phone operators. They need to know more about what they are doing. And they should also learn how to use more personable techniques. That way they will lose the inhuman feel that they project.
R: How would you recommend people get started on this topic?
I: To have a decent set of interpersonal skills. With that a person can easily talk and converse with anybody easily. And also that makes you look like you know a lot more than you do. That’s what I would want to do.
R: What is the absolutely most dangeours and bad thing someone should stay away from related to this topic?
I: Questions pertaining to an individual’s religion. Talking about family members. Bringing up politically inclined social and economic issues.
R: What’s the very next step someone should take to learn more about this topic?
I: At least once a day engage a complete stranger and hold a short conversation. This is a great way to practice talking to people about topics at hand. Plus, doing this will get you used to talking to people comfortably, and regularly.
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Thank you for reading this personal journey into becoming a better person and having a better future ahead of you. I hope you enjoyed this interview conversation and found golden nuggets you can immediately apply to your daily life.
If you’re interested in discovering how to use small talk to succeed at work, transform your introversion into a useful skill, and handle those annoying coworkers, then check out Just Say Something!.
Please feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or personal life-changing wisdom below.