10 Lessons Kidney Stones Teach You About Life

Have you ever got a Dorito stuck in your throat? No, not just a little piece, I mean a big honkin’ chunk of a sharp Dorito chip. Extra spicy and extra pointy.

It seems like no matter how hard you swallow, no matter how much water you drink, and no matter how much you try you just can’t get it out. And it fargin’ hurts every bit of the way down. Ouch!

Now picture this on a slightly smaller scale in an area 800,000 times more sensitive to pain. Kidney. Stones. I’m saying this is not a fun time.

But, after I stopped rolling around the floor, groaning like an injured cougar, it did give me the chance to learn some valuable lessons.

Yup. I learned something from the meanest little urethral-ninja-star I’ve ever encountered.

Here are 10 lessons passing a kidney stone can teach you about life:

1) Surprise: you’re on the ground

There I was, walking around in the bedroom when a sudden, sharp pain hit my lower right back. “What the…” squeaks out of me as my wife asks if it’s my back. I do some flexing to check the muscles and things seem fine. “Uh oh…” was my next thought, as well as a wash of fear over my face. Wait a second… I’m too young for kidney stones, right?!

No matter what you’re doing or where you’re at in life, something can throw a kink in your plans. Do your best to be prepared, but don’t let it keep you down. Check your resources and figure the problems out as they come along. I learned some very valuable health tips and treatment plans.

Minimize down time : maximize learn time.

2) Small size, big deal

The little beast of a thing started making its way down the ureter and it wasn’t being subtle at all. My mini-Dorito had a message to share with me, but I could only translate it in one way. “OH MY GOOD LORD PLEASE SAVE ME!” …as I rolled around the house. How could such a small little thing bring such a “big and tough” guy down so easily?

Though I wish the method was different, sometimes we need a reminder that the little things need attention. A small bad-habit-thorn-in-your-side can become an infected wound-of-lackluster-living given enough time. Now is a good time to step back and see if there’s anything causing you pain that you can’t see from your point of view. Friends and family can help.

Remove the thorn : heal the wound.

3) Inside, no one can see your pain

Even though I was doubled over in pain and was rolling on the floor (definitely NOT laughing), my wife really didn’t know how to respond. She asked me a few times if I was okay but couldn’t really get a feel for the level of pain. I mean heck, how bad could it hurt anyway, right?

Unless other folks have experienced your life, which they can’t since you’re unique, they’ll never be able to fully understand your point of view. As frustrating as this can be, it leads to only one conclusion. You either make it fit their point of view on the world or you accept that you’ll be misunderstood. Sometimes it’s worth it, sometimes it’s not.

You said potato : I heard tomato.

4) Keep moving through the pain

Apparently, you’re not supposed to just lie around when you’re passing a stone. I successfully found a spot where I could get more than a 20 minute nap and feel okay. So I thought I was fixed. Wrong. I went straight down again after I started moving the next day as my crystalline knife hit the road again. Hello emergency room.

We can get comfortable in a valley, especially when it seems like things couldn’t get worse. Sometimes a little break in the path to going through tough times can trick us into complacency, only to bite us harder in the butt later. Choose to move through the difficulty. You will not be given challenges you can’t overcome. That’s a promise.

Stopped stones are trouble : rolling stones are mossless.

5) Patience is a virtue, and it’s dang hard

There I kneeled, doubled over in the bathtub, waiting for the next wave of pain to surge through my lower abdomen and back. Where would I go this time? Hop on the Gazelle and exercise through the pain? Stack some pillows and balance on my side? Pace around the backyard? Try to get some more 20 minute naps after 36 hours of no sleep? Yes, yes, yes, and yes.

Not that I had much of a choice, but sticking to trying new things in times of difficulties can get you out of a pickle. Sure, we all want to stay with the tried and true, but what got you where you are will not get you where you want to go. Sometimes we have to remain calm, take a deep breath, strap on our patience, and keep on trying new things until we find what works best.

Doctor your motivation : wisdom comes with patience.

6) You’re always loved

I love my wife and she was so helpful in taking care of me and the kids. I thought taking care of 2 babies was tough, but I make #3 and I’m the toughest, apparently. Thank you, honey. And what really sent me off to “loved land” was my son hovering around, on the rare occasion I could sit still. He’d tell me just how much he loved me and how much he wanted me to get better. He used his doctor kit on me in every way he knew how. I was feeling better already.

Even when we’re at the lowest of the lows, when we think no one else knows, know that there are folks out there for you. Sure, you might not even know them, but there will always be someone praying for you. Maybe by name, maybe not. But know this: there are billions that make it a point every day to pray for those in need. You’re one of them, no matter what. The Lord gives hugs when they’re needed most, and that’s when they’re least expected.

No duck swims alone : lakes ripple with every waddle.

7) This too shall pass

The ER folks let me know my “relatively small” stone was almost to my bladder, signaling it would be passing out of my body soon. I don’t know how ‘small’ and ‘soon’ relate to ‘pain’ and ‘less pain’ but I was ready to be done. No later than 30 minutes after filling my 4 prescriptions, that thing came screaming out of my body. HALLELUIAH, THANK GOD!

There really is no problem too big for you to handle. When you try your best and use the resources available to you, you will make it through. Of course this is hard to believe in the middle of an ordeal, but when has it ever NOT been true? The only people who never make it out of problems are the ones who don’t try. The path we need to take isn’t always the one we want, but we can do it if we try.

Stay the course : you’ll get there.

8) People want to know

Recovery was much more fun than the process. I took it easy, drank a lot of tasty juice and water, and kept popping the antibiotics to speed proper recovery. But, apparently I didn’t mention anything to my mom. Yes, I know this is the kind of thing your closest folks want to know. I guess I was a little too focused on myself. Sorry mom!

It’ll be hard to get any outside help or guidance until you let people in. Sure, there are some things that don’t need that level of visibility, but folks really do want to help. Especially if you’re the kind of person that likes to give back all the time. Be big enough to let other people help. Be big enough to say yes and thank you.

Good friends knock : better friends answer

9) Garbage in, garbage out

After things were on the up and up, I did some more research on the causes of kidney stones. I guess the barrage of heavy vitamin C supplements, meat, spinach, purslane (I have a mild foraging passion), and lack of adequate exercise can be tough on the body. Oops. I guess I unconsciously worked pretty hard to make that stone. Silly me.

Sometimes we focus too much on the symptoms of our issues in life. We can wash our hands all we want, but if we keep choosing to stick them in mud the problem’s not solved. Look for the causes, thoughts, and habits behind the things that cause resistance in your life. Look behind the curtain and see what’s gathering dust.

Bad causes : worse effects

10) Do things differently

I’ve cut back on my supplement intake, started paying more attention to ingredients, and have upped my Gazelle exercising to 5 times a week for 25 minutes each. I’ve got a few more preventative measures to make part of my daily life, but it’s a dang good start. And hey, now I’m sharing experiences with people on the internet. Double win!

Getting to the root of the causes is a great start, but it’s the action that brings the thinking to life. Do your research, do your soul-searching, and do your meditation. And make sure you take the next step. Do what it’ll take to get something done. It also helps if you have someone else to help with accountability (like me telling you my story). Whatever you do – do something different. What got you here won’t get you there.

Fool me once : no more foolin’

Every Little Problem is a Gift in Disguise

Passing a kidney stone is not something I’d wish on anyone. I’m glad I can look back on this time and learn a few things. That’s the real point here. We can all triumph through adversity and should always try to learn from everything.

Now’s the time to see the problems in your life for what they really are: opportunities to learn. I mean can you imagine what people would think about you if you just started saying, “awesome! I get to learn something new!” everytime something bad happened to you? Who cares what they’d say, you’d be learning and owning your life. Awesome!

The next time you’re at home sick with the cold or flu, really think about how much your life is changed by being sick. How much harder is it to get stuff done? Do you setup your house or bed in any other way to make it easier? Do you rely on other people now? How have they changed their lives around to help you out? Are there any lessons on patience, kindness, health, diet, exercise, allergies, cleanliness, or rest in your days at home?

Look for those opportunities to learn. They’re definitely there and I believe they’re little gifts from God. Sounds crazy, huh? Maybe, but begin to notice how your thinking about life changes and then let’s talk.

Please, share this with your friends if you think they could benefit from a few hard-won lessons. Thank you.