Not every relationship is the same. This is especially true when it comes to loving each other from far away places. Relationships that span a divide of many miles, time zones even, can really test the mettle of any couple. Let’s not forget how careers come into play when certain special conditions enter the relationship.
Something that comes up a lot during career development is the opportunity to relocate. A lot of times, this can be tough for couples and marriages. There is a wide range of tough situations that no one person could possible fully understand.
That’s why I’ve hit the pavement and decided to gather a ton of survey data about the most relevant long distance relationship advice I could find. I posted a survey to hundreds of people about what matters most, and need the most attention, in these situations.
Word of warning: these results have been looked over, but I kept in the raw and personal responses in order to give you the many perspectives of everyone who participated. Sure, some of them are obvious, some are a bit sad, but there are others that will be absolutely enlightening for your situation.
Below is part 2 of this 5 part series on boosting your ability to make a long distance relationship work.
If you’d like to read the rest of the posts, here are parts 1, 3, 4, & 5.
This is “Special Situations” part and it covers the following topics:
- Age Gap Couples
- Interracial Couples
- Dating the Ex’es
The format for these parts will be something like this: all parts are broken down into main subsection of the part at hand. Each subsection has a few questions inside. Each question has a large list of responses from the survey takers. That’s it! Now let’s jump right on in.
Special Situations: Age Gap Couples
Tips for success in large age-gap relationships?
- Figure out whether you are trying to resolve a childhood issue
- Express an interest in learning about each other’s interests and backgrounds
- Find activities that you both can appreciate and enjoy
- Hang out with loved ones who accept your relationship
- Negotiate different communication styles so that you have clear understandings
- Use common phrases
- Stay away from slang that you use in your generation
- Speak clearly
- Speak loudly
- Be able to paint a picture with your words so ANYONE can understand
Things to watch out for in large age-gap relationships?
- The gap that may exist in intelligence/wisdom
- The younger one being taken advantage of
- Allowing the older one to be the boss
- Honesty between both parties is a must
- If kids are involved, that the younger one respects the kids the older one has
- Interest may not be the same.
- Level of maturity could be different.
- One may have more prior relationships and that could be troublesome.
- One may have a well-adapted lifestyle and is unwilling to change.
- If children are involved, that can become problematic.
Special Situations: Interracial Couples
Tips for success in interracial relationships?
- You have to know who you are in an interracial relationship because a lot of people may not like who you are in the relationship with.
- You have to appreciate the other person’s ethnicity and differences.
- Pay attention to the other person’s family because they may have funny attitudes which can cause your feelings to be hurt.
- Have an open mind, especially if you have preconceived ideas about the other person’s race.
- Don’t judge a person with a broad brush because of what you have seen in your personal experience or on the news and the like.
- Open mindedness
- Must love the other party
- Trust
- A carefree attitude
- HAVE FUN
Things to watch out for when in an interracial relationship?
- Different cultural backgrounds
- Different worldviews
- Different ways about completing simple tasks, based on childhood experiences
- Language barrier
- Different familial structure
- You should be mindful of differences in customs.
- Prepare to get dirty looks from people when you two are together in public.
- Communication issues can be caused by misunderstanding language and humor.
- Often times parents do not approve of interracial relationships; this can put stress on your relationship.
- Don’t let infatuation cloud your judgment. You must take into account all the extra stress put on to an interracial relationship.
Special Situations: Dating the Ex’es
Tips for success in relationships with ex’es?
- If the ex doesn’t want to be around you, don’t push.
- Stay casual.
- Don’t try to get back together.
- Be nice.
- Don’t get into fights.
- Take some time apart after breaking up.
- Try to keep some distance so you don’t say hurtful things.
- Don’t pursue a friendship until at least one of you is back in a relationship.
- Don’t contact them when you are drunk.
- Accept that your relationship is going to be much different.
Things to watch out for in relationships with ex’es?
- First rule: getting back with an EX is a no-no.
- If they bring up past stuff, chances are it’s not going to workout again.
- If you do get back together, make sure it’s for the right reason.
- If the trust you had is gone, chances are it won’t be coming back anytime soon.
- Make they don’t want to just play you again. Make sure it is real this time.
- Thinking carefully before resuming physical intimacy
- Being honest about new relationships since the breakup
- Holding onto old grudges and resentments
- Being prepared for criticism from family and friends
- Being willing to discuss what went wrong before
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So what do you think? How do these responses from the many survey takers relate to your situation, relationship, and career goals?