Marriage, dating, and friendships are full of love, care, and joy. But they can also be filled with headaches, heartaches, and some of the darkest days around. What you get out of your relationship is directly proportional to what you put into it.
Let’s start putting a whole lot more love, emotion, true support, and fun into our relationships, okay? Every little bit of positive goodness we can pout back into those we love the most will make the difference between two lives that are troubled or two lives that are awesomely growing to levels beyond comprehension.
Below are some of the better, more enlightening, or more entertaining answers that came out of this question and answer session. Users requested remaining anonymous and I’ll honor that request. The answers are raw, genuine, and I did my best to leave them as they were supplied, though I try to clean up any bad or hateful language.
Let’s dive right on in and see what normal, everyday folks think about this important topic in life.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve ever learned about relationships?
- Don’t be the only one putting effort into a relationship.
- Girls require a significant other that will listen to them. They don’t necessarily need a problem solver, but just an open pair of ears. Don’t try to interject a solution – this often operates against the natural instinct of a male!
- I have learned that it can be tough to make it work, and nothing is perfect. Even if things go wrong though you need to work through them otherwise you will be miserable and never be able to have a good relationship. Also, most important, if it doesn’t feel right, it likely isn’t, and never be somewhere you are not happy, or with people who don’t make you feel good about yourself.
- I have learned that true love, whether between two friends, a couple, two siblings, etc., means letting go of trivial things that can cause arguments, hurt, anger, and focusing on things that really matter. Because time is short, and no one is perfect.I have learned that if I accept others’ shortcomings, and they accept mine, the relationship is much richer and deeper. In short, I have learned to accept and forgive and learn from relationships, and hopefully to teach in return.
- I’ve learned compromise is important in all relationships. Both people need to give evenly in a relationship or it won’t work. Disagreements happen but if there is compromise everyone can be happy.
- I’ve learned that maintaining deep relationships with people is surprisingly hard. You can have shallow friendships with many people for years and years, but having someone you can really be yourself around all the time is really difficult. It’s hard to find a true confidant. It’s even harder to find someone you can be around all of the time. It takes worth to take relationships to that deeper level.
- Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever think you can change somebody. People are who they are and you better be looking with eyes wide open when they show you. So often people think they can change somebody if they just get married, or have a baby, or lose weight, or “whatever”. But it will not happen.You may see a temporary change but people are who they are. One last thing, at the beginning of your relationship that is as good as it gets, people are on their best behavior at that time. Things will change at least a little as things progress, so if you meet a jerk, you will end up in a marriage with a real imbecile.
- Relationships are a fragile give and take system. Just because one partner is happy does not mean the other is; one must not be selfish. In a relationship, each partner must take the other person’s feelings very seriously all the time. That sort of sensitivity will cause a person to treat their partner with the respect they deserve. Relationships without respect should be ended immediately.
- Relationships are important to making someone happy. People who are loners are typically depressed and bored. Having relationships with people make you happy and enjoy life. I don’t know where I’d be without relationships.
- Relationships can be a real learning experience. Relationships don’t always last. Relationships can fill your life with love and laughter.
- Relationships come and go, and they also change like a flowing river. Instead of hanging on and clinging, I learned to enjoy them while I had them, and hold on to the good memories of them and let go of the bad. We tend to want them to last forever, but nowadays they don’t. It’s better to appreciate what we had and say better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.My neighbor was my best friend. When she got divorced and moved, she broke off the friendship because she said it kept bringing back memories of her failed marriage from when she lived by me. I had to love her enough to understand and let her go, and just be glad for the close times we did have.
- Relationships do not depend on the age, color, or race. Love is the bond that nurtures relationships. Relationships are healed by forgiveness.
- Relationships require a great deal of work. Communication is the key. Keep new ideas going to keep things fresh. Don’t settle for things you disapprove of or disagree with. Address issues immediately and don’t let anything linger.
- Relationships that do not work, probably will never work. I kept going back to an old boyfriend over and over, but realized he would never change and I would never change, so “us” just wasn’t going to work out. As much as I wanted the relationship and to be with this man, it just was not working. There was nothing to be done but to break up and seek other partners.
- Remain flexible. Those who are inflexible are doomed to be alone. So work with people. Be willing to compromise.
- Take your time to actually get to know the person before you decide to get serious. It has been proven that most individuals best personality traits surface when they date new people. But that these are not always the everyday personality traits that are shown after you see the person on a daily basis and the “new” stage is over with. Then you really see that person for who they really are.
- The best relationships are symbiotic. I have been in some where either, I was obsessed with the other person or she was obsessed with me. If you don’t wrap your identity up with or hold too great of expectations of the other person, than that is a sign of a healthy relationship. If both people are willing to work together and allow each other room to grow, then the relationship has a good chance of survival.
- The best relationships have trust, honesty, and support built into their foundation. If you can be honest with someone close to you, trust that they will keep your secrets, and know they will support the weight of your heart when you’re at your lowest, you can know for certain that they love you – be it friend, lover, or family. Acceptance always follows those three things and is absolutely vital.
- The lesson I have learned about relationships is about giving other people there space and privacy. Because if you crowd and intrude to deeply into someone. They become very defensive and want to get away from you. While on the flip side of the same coin. If you don’t spend enough time together. They have a tendency to slip away.
- The most important less I learned about relationships is that the two people involved have to be able to “relate” to one another. The adage that opposites attract makes scientific sense but not in the genre or scenario of a real relationship.Time spent together indicate if a relationship exist. If the man is always with his friends and the woman is always with her friend’s then a real relationship does not exist. A relationship of convenience exist; that is, “I will see you when you or I are not busy.”
- The most important life lesson I have learned about communication is that all relationships are based off of it. I am bad at communicating with people, so I have experienced a lot of bad relationships. I am working on becoming better at communicating with other people.
- There are many different relationships I have experienced in my life. My first romantic relationship was where I learned that trust was very important. My relationship with my children is where I learned about patience and compassion. And my relationship with my husband is where I learned about compromise and sharing.
- There is no such thing called a perfect relationship. It may be difficult to get along with someone that you care about at times. But if you care about the relationship you should stick it out and eventually you will get over it.
- Try to be real or transparent with people. Don’t try to be something you’re not just to please them. I don’t think you’ll feel like a ‘crumb’ then. You have worth, so be yourself. Don’t leave any conversation not being satisfied with being true to yourself. My son once said to be, “Everybody else is saying what they want to say!”I grew up thinking that you are supposed to be a goody two-shoes and always smiling, not getting angry because that was wrong. Boy, did I have a rude awakening, that’s not real life. Relax in who you are, do the right thing, take the high road and this makes for good relationships. It sure will take the stress off of you.
- While compromise can be really tough, it is easier to compromise than to keep on fighting. Sometimes when you swallow your pride and try something the other person’s way you find that their way is actually better! Trust your gut feeling. If you feel weird about the relationship in the beginning, chances are it’s not the right one for you.
I hope enjoyed this series of questions and answers on life lessons. Whether you found something directly applicable or you just found reading through the lives of others enlightening, I trust you got something valuable out of this article.
Please share your thoughts or your own lessons, ah-ha’s, or generally awesome wisdom below. We want to know what’s on your mind!