Do you know how to control your emotions? Is controlling your emotions the right thing to do or just a left-over philosophy from decades old psychological experiments that haven’t been updated in forever?
Truth be told, the method of emotional handling is different for each person. However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t a set of decently defined tools that can be tried by all people and then they can simply pick what works best for them.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to working with, without, or within one of the most powerful forces know to mankind. We could all use a little help when it comes to better understanding such a wide and confusing topic.
Below are some of the better, more enlightening, or more entertaining answers that came out of this question and answer session. Users requested remaining anonymous and I’ll honor that request. The answers are raw, genuine, and I did my best to leave them as they were supplied, though I try to clean up any bad or hateful language.
Let’s dive right on in and see what normal, everyday folks think about this important topic in life.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve ever learned about controlling emotions?
- Always think about the big picture when you get upset. In most cases, the thing that you think you are upset about in the moment isn’t even the correct thing. So it is always important to take time and evaluate your feelings before acting.
- Breathing exercise that relaxes you and also at the same time imagine each breath as the common need of all beings making us all the same. Each breath in takes beauty of life. Each breath out gives thanks and gratitude.
- Controlling emotions has some benefits but can do more harm than good. Where it can do good is when someone is ribbing you too much and though you want to yell at them. You just hold up the annoying feelings so you don’t hurt the other person’s feelings. On the flip side of the coin. Controlling your feelings too much can lead to high blood pressure and other physical problems. And also some mental problems as well. Laugh when you want to laugh and cry when you want to cry.
- Don’t control them…use them! That’s why we’ve got them. Creative Anger is one of the newest buzz words, but it sort of makes sense. The anger comes out of a perceived injustice. Locking it up inside does not remove the cause nor does it lead to a solution. Learn to understand emotions. Learn what causes them, how much they stimulate you, what pushes your buttons, what excites you, what repulses you. Master those emotions and use them to improve yourself as a person.
- Don’t hide or stuff your emotions. That is not a healthy way to be. There is nothing wrong with crying or speaking out how you really feel, even when you’re angry. Now, we all know you can’t go around ranting and raving all over the place about what angers you. You might get arrested. Find a trusted person and vent to them, that way you get your frustrations out and most people I know feel better after that.
- Emotions are a temporary state and can be controlled/changed by what we focus our thoughts on. You can change your emotional state at any given moment. Emotions are fleeting and therefore should not be the determining factor of major life decisions. This is why you should breathe, calm down, and give yourself some space to really think about the big things. Took me a long time to actually figure that one out! :)
- Emotions are evil things that appear at some inopportune times. A hot-tempered, negative, or overall whiny person causes more problems for themselves than is necessary. It is best to walk away from a frustrating situation and truly assess why you are reacting the way you are and determine if it is helpful to be acting that way. Most of the time it is not. Taking a second to breath allows you time to realize what is important enough to get worked up over and what is fine to be forgotten.
- Emotions like anger and sadness can easily get out of control. They can be all consuming if one does not know how to keep them in check. In order to keep emotions in check, a person has to remind themselves that they cannot control how they feel but they can control how they act. Anger is not an excuse to hurt someone, and sadness is not an excuse to ignore responsibilities.Everyone feels similar feelings, but the way the react to those feelings determines the quality of their character. Reacting rashly to experiences that cause great emotional stirs will almost never produce a desirable outcome. People must learn to accept their emotions but practice self-control.
- Find a way to do it. If you control your emotions, then you will make far fewer mistakes. People who are emotional act on emotion instead of logic. And logic is always better than emotion.
- Generally, people talk too much when angry or jealous, and they end up harming themselves in the process. I have said some unkind things to people through the years that I regret. Even after an apology, it is very hard to forgive words spoken when they are harmful. Now, I try very hard to take a cool off period, or take the time to say, “I’m going to think about that for a while, and I’ll get back to you.”
- I used to cry a lot. I told myself I couldn’t help it. I learned though that crying does not help anything. It doesn’t fix the problem. And it caused a lot of health problems- my eyes were red and swollen and sore, my throat hurt, my stomach hurt, I had chest pains, my head hurt. So I learned that crying made me feel worse.Now I rarely cry. I tell myself if I control the emotion and refuse to cry I will feel better than if I give in to it and cry. Now when I want to cry, I distract myself by giving myself a happy moment and go do something to distract me like watch a funny tv show or eat something sweet.
- It takes time to be able to control your emotions. I have always been an emotional person, and have recently been trying to control my emotions and keep calm and collective. It’s important to be spiritual and seek help from God to find peace within yourself.
- I’ve learned to relax before making mistakes. You don’t want to overreact and cause issues. Sometimes breathing and calming down is all you need to not react wrong.
- Losing control always results in some negative outcome.
- No one is responsible for my emotions, except me. I used to think a person had made me angry, made me lose my temper, or made me sad, but the truth is those emotions are fully within my control. I can choose to respond to a person or situation negatively, or I can choose to respond in a way that’s not harmful to myself or others. Spending time in solitude, meditation, regular exercise, an extremely healthy diet, and breathing exercises have all helped me control my emotions under circumstances of stress.
- Some things are better left unsaid. Words said in anger that are meant to hurt can never be taken back. In one split second, words that are said can cause hurt that lasts a lifetime.
- Sometimes it’s very hard to control your emotions when the circumstances are stressful. But it’s probably a good idea to find a way to control your emotions so that others are not affected by your bad behavior. On the flip side sometimes it’s good to show emotions like when your happy, or proud, or excited. Just remember to be considerate of others and how your emotions might affect them.
- Sometimes you just need to let things out. But sometimes you have to do what your gut tells you to do. The hard part is figuring out which is the right thing to do for you at the time. Sometimes your emotions can just make things worse and ruin everything.
- The most important life lesson I have learned about controlling emotions is that such action gets to the real root of the problem. Emotions often cloud up the real issues concerning the relationship. If the facts of the current relationship is discussed rather than an emotional event that happened in the past, most likely the relationship would survive. Therefore it is very important to control emotions so the purpose of the relationship can get attention instead of just feelings which are very subjective and often rooted in the past.
- The most important life lesson I have learned is that you cannot just let your emotions show immediately. Regardless to if it is something that made you mad, happy, etc.; you must take a moment and breathe. Keeping composure is key. Don’t try to fake a smile necessarily, bite your cheek if you have to, and remain calm. If you focus on becoming calm and not fixating on whatever made you react, the emotion will either go away, or be hidden.
- This is one of the hardest things to do in life. Sometimes we go through emotional stages that go beyond our personal lives and we have to remain functional while at work and in our professional lives. Sometimes emotions are so high that they are uncontrollable.
- This is probably the single-most important thing I have had to learn in life – because not being in good control of my emotions has cost me in more ways than one. It has cost me friendships and professional relationships, and it has also cost me financially. For one thing, I have learned to consider other people’s feelings before reacting to a particular stimulus.I have learned how to stay calm and think things through before reacting, using past experiences as a guide. In the past, if I was treated poorly in public, for example, I might react with anger or sarcasm. Now, I stop to remember that I don’t know why that person may be treating me badly, or acting poorly – perhaps they just had a tragedy happen to them, lost a job, etc. I have learned my reaction, i.e., controlling emotions is a choice, it is not a foregone conclusion.
- To keep my mouth shut until I know exactly what I want to say. It’s not easy to control emotions, it’s something that has to be worked at. That’s it’s better to be in control when emotional.
- When you act emotionally, specifically if it is out of anger, it will usually have the opposite effect that you intend it to have. For example, every single time I’ve ever gotten angry to the point where I’m screaming at someone, the person who is the subject of my anger tends to either reply with the silent treatment, cry or respond with anger and escalate the fight.It is much better to walk away from a fight than to start one. Rage brings nothing to the table. If something is upsetting you, the best thing to do is walk away and speak about it later in the day when all relevant parties have had time to cool off. You are more likely to come up with a positive result if you can maintain your composure.
- You can’t always control your emotions, but feeling emotional is different from letting your emotions control your response. If you’re a little sad or angry, don’t overstate your emotion in an effort to make your point. Let a little bit show, make your point, and get over. There’s no communication when both sides are full of negative emotions, and there’s almost never a time when a person is better off for having lost control of their emotions.
I hope enjoyed this series of questions and answers on life lessons. Whether you found something directly applicable or you just found reading through the lives of others enlightening, I trust you got something valuable out of this article.
Please share your thoughts or your own lessons, ah-ha’s, or generally awesome wisdom below. We want to know what’s on your mind!