Turn that negative into the positive – there are pearls of use in there.
The more and more I do these “Finding your life’s purpose” or “discovery your passion in 6 easy steps” type exercises… the more and more I get focused on one conclusion: I’m tired of doing them! :)
But seriously, they really are great ways to get your mind churning and keeping the squeaky, “I want to come out and play!” voice a wee bit happier. More often than not, I gain at least one insight from each one of these things. That’s not too shabby! Any day with another insight is a WINNING day in my book!
The only real problem I’ve run across with this line of thinking is… well, the majority of the tests run along the same line of thinking! There’s no real variation – no real “bump over the road’s shoulder and ride in the field to find the next path” approaches. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to get the brainy-juices flowing and burst out one of those most cherished moments… the elusive A-HA!
So let’s do something a bit different today. Let’s try and discover a bit more about our life’s purpose by tearing to complete shreds that path of life we most certainly DO NOT want.
The Steps to Finding Purpose Through Anti-Purpose
Here’s an example I just ran through the other day. I figured the best way to show this method to you would be to do it myself! Suspend disbelief for a while and run through the exercise with me. Let’s see how this way of thinking could possibly be useful to you. Here goes!
1. Write down what it is that you LEAST want to do with your life.
Here is where you’d detail the absolutely worst thing that you’d ever want to have happen to you as far as self-worth / fulfillment / growth is concerned. I’d stay away from dismemberment, nuclear war, acts of God, etc. – make it realistically useful, but still the most boring idea you can thing of. Here’s one of mine:
Waste away in a corporate machine doing busy work to come home to a miserable family.
2. List at least 5 assumptions you have about this LEAST want.
Your statement for Step 1 can be broken down into individual parts or pieces that are based off of ideas you have about that overall statement. The examples I have listed below point to ideas that seem like obvious facts but really are just my (probably faulty) opinions and assumptions.
- Working for someone else’s corporation leads to a dead end.
- All busy work is boring.
- My family would be miserable if all I did was make ends meet.
- I would not be high up in the organization.
- I would not enjoy the work I would be doing in the company.
3. Write down the opposite of each of your assumptions.
Now put some real effort into turning those statements into the most completely absurdly positively opposite statements. For instance:
- Working for someone else’s corporation is the path to success!
- All busy work is invigorating!
- My family would be thrilled if I just made ends meet!
- I would be at the top of the organization!
- I would greatly enjoy the work I would be doing!
4. Turn the opposites into questions on how to get them done.
Do your best to turn those positive, opposite statements into questions. Stay away from “yes” or “no” forms and go straight for the open-ended versions. Try “How can I?” and “What could I do to?” forms as a good template for this exercise.
- How could I turn working for someone else into a path to success?
- How can I make all busy work invigorating?
- How could I help my family be thrilled about me making ends meet?
- How could I get to the top of the organization?
- How can I enjoy the work I am doing no matter what?
5. Answer the questions.
Your brain absolutely loves to answer questions and figure things out. It was made for it! Now that you have well formed questions that turned things you don’t want into things you do, let your mind do its thing and get some real clear paths of getting aligned with your purpose and life goals!
- Figure out what skills I need to gain to get my passion done and on the way. Start taking training classes, going to seminars, and taking on projects that build these skills.
- Find ways to make the task relevant to building your skills. Listen to audiobooks while doing the busy work and turn it into a learning session! Come up with or contemplate sage quotes and advice.
- Talk with my family members to let them know my plans and that I really do strive to do more. Help them to understand where you want to go and how you plan to get there. Let them know and understand that the path may be unknown but you have laid down scenarios to get there and will do whatever it takes to put them as first priority. Instill confidence and deliver results – no matter how many times you fail!
- Start and grow my own company and then buy them out! Work through the ranks, consistently delivering more than just what is expected. Get with your managers and do scheduled mentoring sessions. Don’t just wait for the yearly review to talk about your future. Ask them how they got there and do more!
- Pick the right company, position, and industry from the get-go. Do the internet research, talk to people on the inside, and give it a trial run. If the industry and company are right but the job is not, then move around inside the organization to find the right fit. Or narrow down your passion and purpose even more and start your own path to transforming the world!
That wasn’t so bad was it? It took me about 25 minutes to complete. I really enjoyed the process and I have to say the results are pretty telling and useful, too! Nothing like giving myself some life purpose actions to get the internal fire burning bright again! Focus and direction toward my purpose. This is good stuff!
Turn That Frown Upside Down
Let’s recap the “Purpose from Anti-Purpose” method:
1. Write down what it is that you LEAST want to do with your life. 2. List at least 5 assumptions you have about this LEAST want. 3. Write down the opposite of each of your assumptions. 4. Turn the opposites into questions on how to get them done. 5. Answer the questions.
Much like the “stop saying can’t and start saying ‘how can I?'” line of thinking, turning exactly what you DON’T wont into questions on how to achieve the exact opposite can prove to be quite useful. At the very least, it has helped me to look at a common question in life and transform it into a more novel and interesting game.
Besides – we all pretty much are experts at complaining and letting people know exactly what we don’t like. Why not finally make all of that information we’ve been giving away nilly-willy all of our lives into something useful? Lemons into lemonades and all that jazz. :)
Let us know what lemons you’re working on right now in a comment below – maybe we can all help each other out!
photo by publicenergy (though I did some junky editing to it)