I’ll never forget the time my nephew was trying to explain TikTok to me. I thought it was a new kind of toe-tapping dance. Turns out, it’s more like a digital carnival that never sleeps – and folks are spending more time staring at its bright lights than they are at their own dinner tables.
And isn’t that the truth? We walk around with tiny portals to every human experience in our pockets, yet we feel smaller, lonelier, and more stressed about what everyone else is doing. We scroll through perfect lives while ours feels like a work-in-progress with too many cracks. It’s a real pickle, ain’t it?
We’re fixing to talk about taming that beast. This ain’t some highfalutin tech lecture; this is the Bojangles Harper guide to making social media serve you, instead of the other way around. We’ll learn how to curate our feeds like a master gardener, set limits with the kindness of St. Jude (the patron saint of hopeless causes – and we’ve all felt that!), and turn screen time into family time.
Let’s get started on making your home a sanctuary from the scroll.
Know Thyself: The First Step to a Healthier Feed
Before you start deleting apps like they’re expired pickles, you gotta know why you’re scrolling. Is it boredom? Comparisonitis? The desperate need to see if your cousin’s dog had its puppies yet?
I call this “feed archaeology.” You’re digging into the soil of your own habits.
Try This Challenge:
For one day, keep a little notepad handy (or use your phone notes – just don’t get lost in them!). Every time you reach for your phone out of habit or boredom, write down why. “Feeling tired at work,” “Kids are napping and I need quiet,” “Saw someone else’s post and got curious.”
This simple act of awareness is the most powerful tool you have. St. Paul tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). You can’t renew what you don’t even notice needs fixing.
Become the Curator: Make Your Feed a Garden, Not a Junkyard
Imagine your social media feed is a plot of land. Right now, it might be overgrown with weeds – people showing off vacations you can’t afford, political arguments that raise your blood pressure, and influencers selling you miracle cures.
It’s time to become the master gardener! This isn’t about deleting everything forever; it’s about pruning what doesn’t serve your peace and planting what nourishes your soul.
Practical Tips for a Better Feed:
1. The ‘Mute’ Button is Your Best Friend: Don’t unfollow folks just yet – that can feel awkward. Just mute them. You’ll see their posts less, but they won’t know, so no hurt feelings! This is like politely asking a talkative neighbor to give you some space.
2. Follow the Nourishers: Find accounts that actually add something positive. That could be:
Artists or photographers who inspire creativity
Chefs with simple, delicious recipes
Catholic priests or sisters sharing daily reflections
Farmers showing the beauty of God’s creation
3. Unfollow the Comparisons: Be ruthless here. If someone makes you feel like you’re not enough, it’s time to prune that branch from your digital tree.
4. Try This Challenge: The 5-Day Feed Refresh. For five days, follow five new accounts that bring joy or inspiration – no matter how niche they are. A cat lover? A bird watcher? Someone sharing beautiful old church photos?
Set Sacred Boundaries: Making Time for What Truly Matters
Back in my hardware store days, I learned about tools. The right tool for the job makes everything easier. Our phones are powerful tools – but we’re not using them with wisdom if we let them run wild.
This is where setting limits comes in. It’s like building a fence around something precious you want to protect.
Simple Screen Time Strategies:
1. Create Tech-Free Zones: Make your dining room table a sacred space where phones don’t enter during meals. This is for conversations, not comment sections.
2. Establish ‘No-Scroll’ Hours: Maybe from 9 PM until morning? Use this time to read an actual book (the kind with paper pages!), talk to your spouse, or just sit quietly and listen to the crickets.
3. Use Built-In Tools: Most phones have screen time monitors now. Don’t fight them – use them. When you see that notification saying you’ve spent two hours on social media today, it’s a gentle nudge to do something else instead.
4. The ‘One Last Look’ Trap: We all fall into this – “I’ll just check one more time before bed.” This is like eating dessert right before dinner – it ruins your appetite for the real meal (in this case, restful sleep). Try leaving your phone in another room overnight.
Turn Scrolling Into Sharing: The Family Connection Challenge
This might sound shocking coming from a guy who spent his life in a hardware store, but technology can actually bring families closer – if we use it intentionally. Instead of everyone disappearing into their own digital world during family time, let’s make our online experiences something we share.
Ideas for Family Tech Time:
1. The Weekly “Show and Tell”: Each person gets to share one interesting thing they saw online this week. Maybe a cool video of a woodworking project or a recipe you’d like to try.
2. Be the Media Mentors: Talk about what you’re seeing. “I noticed that influencer always seems happy, but it made me wonder if her life is really that perfect.” These conversations teach critical thinking skills better than any school lesson.
3. Find Digital Common Ground: Discover a new game together or follow an account that interests the whole family – like NASA’s Instagram for space lovers or the National Geographic for nature enthusiasts.
When You Slip Up (And You Will!)
Now, let me be straight with you: I’m Bojangles Harper, not St. Peter himself. I’ve had days where I’ve wasted hours scrolling through nonsense when I should have been fixing a leaky faucet or praying my breviary.
The secret isn’t being perfect – it’s getting back up when you fall. When you find yourself lost in the social media vortex, don’t beat yourself up. Just take a deep breath, close the app, and remember why you wanted to make changes in the first place.
St. Thérèse of Lisieux had this wisdom: “I do not fear God’s judgment… I am more afraid of my own.” Let’s extend that same kindness to ourselves when we mess up with our screen time.
Your Digital Detox Toolkit
Let’s recap what we’ve learned today – a quick toolkit for taming your social media beast:
✅ Know Your Triggers: Keep that awareness journal
✅ Become the Curator: Mute, unfollow, and follow with intention
✅ Set Sacred Boundaries: Create tech-free zones and times
✅ Connect Instead of Consume: Make social media a family discussion topic
Your Home is Your Sanctuary
In the end, this whole conversation about positive social media habits comes down to one thing: protecting your home. Your home should be that sacred space where you can disconnect from the digital noise and connect with what truly matters – your family, your faith, and yourself.
Social media doesn’t have to be the enemy in our homes. It’s just a tool. Like any tool, it’s harmless until someone uses it carelessly.
So I’ll leave you with this thought: Treat your home like the cathedral it is supposed to be. Keep the doors open to what nourishes – and close them firmly against what drains.
Now go on – take control of that scroll wheel. Your family, your peace, and your soul will thank you for it. And if all else fails, just remember: every time I see someone scrolling at dinner, I think of my aunt’s cornbread – now that was a real-time connection nobody could ignore!