I remember a long time ago, I was down at the hardware store, which is where most of my best thinking got done. I saw a friend waddling in, looking like he’d just wrestled a goat and lost. He wheels a broken lawnmower in with him and says, “Bojangles, this thing’s a communist plot! It […]

I remember one Saturday morning, clear as a bell. My daughter was about seven years old, and she came running into my hardware store with tears streaming down her face. “Daddy! My doll’s head fell off!” she wailed, holding the poor thing up by its leg like it was a roadkill rabbit. Now, I could’ve […]

One time my wife, God bless her patient soul, caught our son, Timmy, trying to “negotiate” with his little sister’s teddy bear. He’d gotten into some mischief and was down on one knee, explaining that if the bear would just agree not to snitch, he’d trade him for a whole box of chocolate-chip cookies. Now, […]

I remember the day old Man Harper – bless his soul – told me about the time he tried to sell a left-handed hammer. Took him a solid hour of polite confusion and a few good-natured laughs before the fella walked out, shaking his head. Now why on earth would anyone need such a contraption? […]

Remember the good old days in the lunchroom? Watching the smaller kids get picked on by the bigger ones, only to see them come crawling back later with a half-eaten cookie and a pleading “Please, can I have some?” It’s a natural human instinct: we fear asking for what we’re worth, worried we’ll be seen […]

Let’s talk about something that might not be on your mind first thing in the morning, but it oughta be. I’m talking ‘bout religious freedom. Now, when you hear that, what comes to mind? Some dry legal argument? A political shouting match? Let me ask ya this: Have you ever tried to tell a mama […]

The other day, I was down at the church potluck, and young one comes running up to me with this concerned look on her face. “Papa Bojangles,” she says, “I saw a commercial for a toy that talks back! And it’s not very nice words!” I just chuckled and said, “Well, honey, some folks think […]

Alright now, let’s talk about something every parent knows is scarier than a tax audit or a flat tire on the interstate. It’s the middle-of-the-night panic call from your little one’s room, the trembling voice that whispers, “Daddy, there’s a monster under my bed!” My own child, went through a phase like that around age […]

I remember a fella who came into my hardware store one afternoon, looking like he’d wrestled a bear and lost. His name was Tim, and his hands were shaking so bad he could barely hold the box of nails I’d sold him. “Bojangles,” he panted, “my shed’s falling down. My wife wants the kitchen remodeled […]