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I’ve gone through my fair share of self-development advice books. There is a ton of great stuff out there and I’ll recommend them as I come across them. But, with a large library of resources to fall back on or into, I really began to notice some differences.
Some self-improvement methods just seem to strike a chord with me more than others. I really like details, technical hoopla, and tons of research. But it’s not something I want to read over and over again.
The approach I take on this site is a combination of what has worked for me and what I think will work for most folks. Here are the three feet to my self-help stool.
It’s Got to be Accessible
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I recently enrolled Exposing the Learning Curve into Amazon’s Kindle Select program. Not sure how awesome the Select program is, but it did come with a nice bonus. The ability to give my book away for free! Well, for a total of 5 days in 3 months, anyway.
I’m throwing my last 3 Promotion days together this Tuesday through Thursday — midnight PST on 01/24 to midnight PST on 01/26.
The Book Pitch Intro
Sometimes you get in a rut and aren’t really sure what to do. You mope about and wonder when you’ll finally get that big break to carry you above life’s messes. What if that break never comes? Does your desire to learn end right there? It just might… unless you know where you stand on the Learning Curve.
In this revealing book, you will learn how to spot which Phase you are in, grow your way to the next level through relevant exercises, and how to strengthen your best traits in the process. Power through the learning brick-wall and take control of your future.
Why Should You Care?
- You’ll gain self-awareness, instead of blindly ramming into roadblocks.
- You’ll feel the confidence that comes with knowing what to expect.
- You’ll live the joy of rediscovering your past interests.
- You’ll learn what it takes to win next time.
- You’ll learn to do more, by being more.
What Makes This Book Different?
- You get a small piece of the “learning pie” and devour it – leaving you full of goodness. This is not the be-all and end-all to learning theory, but it’s a dang good slice.
- I’m not a fan of big words, when they’re not needed. You pay more attention to a string of small words than a blur of $1.97 words. You know them, I know them – let’s just talk.
- The time invested is small – you’ll finish this book in one evening. The lessons will endure for much longer.
For less than a can of soda (especially since it’s free), you can have new understanding to help you to the next level.
Go get it for yourself, digest it, and get ready for that ah-ha moment.
Then There Was the End – And a New Beginning
And since this post will still be here after the promotion days, I enabled loaning the Kindle eBook. Ya’ll please loan the book out as much as you’d like. Free is fun, especially if there’s learning going on.
Hope it serves you well and have a great day!
At any given moment, do you know what is going to happen 5 minutes from now? How about a week? Month? Year? 5? 10? Now, you may have a pretty good guess at what is coming your way, but can you say with certainty what is going to happen?
Probably not. There are an infinite number of things that can happen between now and 15 minutes from now. You are never able to know exactly what will happen from moment to moment.
Ask yourself, if you can’t really know what’s next, why do you sometimes expect the worst? You always have the choice between expecting or thinking about any choice and sometimes you pick the negative outcome. Sure, positive expectations are a part of life, but wouldn’t you like more? Wouldn’t you like to expect more in your favor?
Go ahead and do it. You don’t know what’s coming – you can’t know what’s coming. No amount of magic, psychic power, star-alignment, or lottery luck will make you 100% sure what is coming in your life. Expect the best. Expect something that is, at a minimum, favorable to you.
You Can Pick the Positive Path
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Knowing what I know now, I could have done so much more when I was younger. It’s a shame, that almost limitless energy and passion I didn’t use when I was in college. That time I spent playing games late at night when I could have played toward my goals. Or those even earlier years when I was too busy breaking driving laws instead of working on driving my future.
All of those missed hours, all of those unfocused efforts, all of that unfocused life. I know it wasn’t wasted because it helped me become the person I am today. But, I didn’t apply it the best way I could. I regret a big portion of that unfocused time. I could have done so much more.
The same applies for now. If you imagine yourself in the future 10 years, looking back on today, what do you think you would tell yourself? What kinds of things would your future, more-successful-self tell your today-self?
PRACTICE TIME: Give this some real thought. Take a break and write 3 or 4 things down on a piece of paper. Now fold it up, lock it away, and don’t look at it for a year or more. This will be a nice surprise in addition to being a great exercise.
If you want to take it up a notch, write a letter as your future-self to your today-self. What advice would you give? Anything to avoid or stop doing now?
Shine some light on today from a day much further away. Go up, look back, and see the steps between then and now that will get you there.
Don’t Dwell On It – Be Motivated From It
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You’re on a deserted island. No ship, no city, no person in sight. As far as you can tell, you are the only person on the island and it’s been that way for a long time. You woke up on this island with no physical possession except for the clothes on your body. You have absolutely nothing left.
Is this the end of your days? Are you doomed without anything to call your own or use? Or maybe there is a chance, but you just need to figure out a way?
Nothing in the physical world is secure or permanent. There is always something that can bring an end to any worldly thing.
Have a nice house? BAAM. Hello, tornado.
Have a hefty 401(k)? BAAM. Howdy, global recession.
Have a nice job? BAAM. Thanks a lot, corporate downsizing.
There are three things that will determine your survival. (1) Your drive to get stuff done, (2) your knowledge, and (3) your experience with the situation. Your drive, thoughts, and experience – the only things that you can’t pack in a suitcase. The only things you can never lose.
Putting your efforts and faith into worldly things will only disappoint. Maybe not today and maybe not anytime soon. But, until you focus yourself on things which are untouchable by externals, you are setting yourself up for road bumps.
If you figure out how to handle the things life throws at you, then it doesn’t matter what island you’re on.
Paycheck to Paycheck and Minute to Minute
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Life Gives You the License, You Have to Earn the Right
You just turned sixteen. Dad’s car is shinier than it’s ever been. You’re ready to rip into the pavement for one heck of an adventure. You’ve been able to drive for a while now – Dad’s given you lessons since you were nine. You just don’t have the State license, yet.
A person from the Department of Public Safety comes to your door to deliver your license. No test needed, no proof, no nothing – you’re good to go. Dad hand’s you the keys, $517 in cash, his credit cards, and a hearty smile. He wishes you well and suggests you come home whenever you want.
That’s just how it all happened for you, right? Well, not exactly.
Yes, you are born with the ‘license’ to drive. Nothing, except maybe your height and ability to reach the pedals, actually stops you from trying to drive. You could do it if you really wanted to. But, you haven’t earned the ‘right.’ You haven’t gone through the motions and training to do it safely, according to the State.
You were born with the license to be all that you want to be. The rest of your life is spent to earn the right. What you put into your journey will be what you get out of it.
If you want to drive your future right, then you have to learn and earn the right.
Only You Want it the Most
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You’ve probably read a self-help or personal development book before. Just a guess. I’ll also go out on a limb and guess that some of them try to tell you something like this. “If you believe it – it will be so!”
I agree - kind of.
What they don’t tell you is that thinking is the first step to growing yourself. Making up your mind to change gets you in the right frame of mind to change. It doesn’t actually change anything externally. And until you figure out how to live in a completely internal world – that might not be useful.
Do you like cake? Well, do you like sugar? How about eggs? Vanilla? Flour? Salt? Milk? Heat? Time to cook? Frosting? Decorating? Preparing? Selling? Or do you just like to eat cake? You’d probably balk at the grocery store if their Bakery section just had boxes of ingredients, right?
You want a finished product. You want something you can digest. Something you can sink your teeth into and put to use right away. You already made your mind up about getting the cake, getting the one you want, how you were going to get it, and what you were going to do with it when you get it. But now you want to eat it!
Get your ingredient in order, but know that you have to actually do something before you can eat it.
Imaginary cake tastes like nothing. Real cake tastes yummy.
Here’s a little graph that might help:
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Let me ask you something frank. Was the awkwardness and uncertainty of puberty the most favorite time of your life? Did you enjoy the pimples, the raging hormones, and the scary “not understanding my situation” parenting? Do you think your life would have been any different if you skipped it all? Perpetually an undeveloped person?
Regardless of whether or not you had a choice to physically grow up – you did. You went through a biologically necessary step to move toward non-teendom. You grew up and changed because you had to. Your past brought you to the present.
There can be no other way. Your past actions, decisions, and thoughts have made you what you are today. They weren’t ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – no judgmental thoughts needed. They just got you here. Good, bad, or indifferent. They were necessary steps to make you – you.
Sure, you could have learned about Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends & Influence People ” back in 7th grade and skyrocketed your public speaking career. But you didn’t. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just a fact. A fact about your past. You also didn’t win the lotto or travel to Rome, yet.
You Always Make the Best Decisions You Can – Now Move On
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Now, my wife might disagree with me, but I’ve grown a lot since I was a little one. I can look back and see that I had a certain type of personality then. Sure, some of it has remained unchanged, but a large portion of it has matured and transformed.
I like to think it’s all been for the better. But that’s not the point. The meat of the matter is – the only constant in life is change. You start out trying to figure out the world, then you turn your focus on other people, and eventually end up trying to figure out yourself.
You already know change is a life-long process. It’s one of those things that’s been so close to your nose you can’t smell it anymore. But it’s there – oh how it’s there.
Recognize and accept that change is a necessary part of life. If it wasn’t, then you’d still be in diapers. Then again, things change and you’ll probably end up in them later.
Change happens. Might as well make sense of it and profit.
Not Everything Will Make Sense Now, But it Will Soon
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There’s something awesome, frightening, and wonderful that pops up after having a child. No matter how many books, lectures, grandma’s, and PhD’s you learn from, you can’t be prepared enough for this event.
Imagine, you’re thrown out of a quiet, comfy, and decidedly adult home – only to find yourself completely out of your element. There are now loud screams every 2-3 hours, regardless of whether it is night or not. There is now a constant need for food, attention, diapers, and playing for a new human being.
You can’t just put this little guy out on the porch when you’re tired. There is no more “me time,” “quiet time,” or “alone time.” You have transitioned to a phase of life where the next day, heck hour, is unknown.
Change is the new norm.
You accept it because you love your child, family, and are a responsible parent. You don’t know what you need to do at any given time, but you go along anyway. And just when you’re getting used to junior sleeping through the night…
BAAM. Here’s a tooth.
Then he can crawl.
Then he says he loves you for the first time.
Then he likes light sockets.
Then he talks back.
Then he tells his first joke.
Then he’s a teen.
Then your house is empty again. A long since unfamiliar empty.
Make change the new norm or you might as well take your place in a museum today.
 Add as many to your toolbox as you can. It's time to get to work! Change can be a scary beast. It is, by definition, not what you’re used to. It takes you out of your comfort zone, throws you on the tracks, and doesn’t tell you when the next train is coming. You are on your own – champion of your world.
Does that scare you or energize you? I hope to help you be energized even more than you already are.
There are 3 very important tools for self-improvement that you need to master before going any further on your personal-development journey. You’ve got to know you are allowed, be more proactive, and to take more responsibility for your actions.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Change
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